josh's stuff

How did we figure out that baking soda absorbs odors?

Like. Is that something you check for? When you’re studying a new thing?

"Okay, I have some powder. Let’s see what happens when you bring rancid mayo close to it…"

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It’s dangerous to go alone. Take this.

Before and after.

Never has a toaster popped up toast near me without causing me to jump in sudden alarm.

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I had a panic attack today. So I came home and made a music. Kinda sounds like it should play over the credits of a Sci Fi video game.

Really get under someone’s skin by pronouncing decoupage as “dacoopidge.”


Notification trolling.

Why does every movie spaceship have a self destruct mechanism? Like, does your car have a self destruct? “Oh no, my tire is flat. Better set a timed detonation and make a run for it.”


"Used to, when people died," Parker said, "we’d just gently drop them into space."

It was her third graveyard shift this week, and Heather was as uninterested in Parker’s old job as medic as she had ever been. “Oh yeah?” she asked without looking up from her crossword.

“See, the problem was that no one had done it before. Died that far out in deep space, you know?”

“Yeah.” She didn’t know. This was actually a new one, but novelty didn’t make her any less bored.

“Right, so that deep in space, the dreadnought was the biggest thing around for light years in any direction,” Parker said, seemingly expecting her to guess the next part of his story.

She sat down the puzzle, exasperated. “Alright, Parker, I’ll bite. What does that have to do with corpses?”

“Think about it,” he said, his characteristic grin displaying his remaining teeth. “We just sat them outside. Where were they gonna go?”

Heather felt herself grow suddenly ill. “You are not serious right now.”

“You guessed it. The dreadnought was the biggest thing around. The size of a medium city, with a super-dense reactor powering it. It only took a few years before people started noticing.”

She couldn’t make herself say it. “Noticing…”

“The ring,” he chortled. “The bodies started orbiting the ship. That’s why we cremate them all now!”

“I think I’ve finished my coffee,” she said, rising. “I have a feeling I won’t have any issue falling asleep in the near future.”